Amoeba’s Lorica: Merger Announcement

WASHINGTON, DC (API*): At a press conference held in the Rose Garden of the Executive Mansion this date, Department of Government Efficiency head Elon Musk announced the formation of a holding company that would assume controlling interests in all of Mr Musk’s properties, including SpaceX, Tesla, and the Boring Company. The company would be named “TMZ General Corp“, and would name Mr Musk as CEO and Chairman of the Board.

Upon its establishment, Mr Musk said, TMZ General Corp would enter into merger negotiations with the Federal Government of the United States of America. When asked why Mr Musk didn’t simply run for President of the USA instead, Mr Musk cited his ineligibility for the office under the provisions of the Constitution of the United States of America, and stated that, if America were truly to be made great again, it “didn’t have time for such niceties.”

A speaker for the company later said that TMZ General Corp was seeking a manufacturer of zinc bushings to add to its portfolio.

There are unconfirmed reports that a Musk employee who was present was fired for yawning while the announcement was being made, particularly when The Boring Company was mentioned. The social media post that allegedly reported the firing had been deleted, along with the account of the poster and all evidence for that poster’s existence.

The original copyright owners for the name “TMZ General Corp” could not be reached for comment. The surviving members of the group that established the name were last seen in the hills surrounding Los Angeles, California, chasing an ice cream truck with nickels in their hands.


* API: Amoeba Press International. Fake News. What Else Sell$? What Else Matter$?

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Amoeba’s Lorica: Meme-ories 57.2 (Frozen Comfort)

Update from earlier post. 2024 vote tallies as of 11 November. Based on electorates of 232 million in 2020, 244 million in 2024. As reported earlier, Nobody was the true victor of the election for President of the United States of America in 2024, as in every year since before 1932 except for 2020. Half of Nobody’s margin of victory came at the expense of the Democratic candidate (the other half from new Nobody voters). When tallies are corrected for the 5% increase in the number of eligible voters between 2020 and 2024, Mr Trump lost 4 million votes to Nobody, whereas Ms Harris lost 14 million.

[Lord Bidentime] found the Emperor’s Bane in the Audience Room. It bore no weapon, made no aggressive movements. It simply stood there, a vast viewing screen wreathed in supernatural fire, showing shifting panoramas of citizens of the Empire, what they were doing, what they were thinking. Bidentime stared, transfixed, while scene after scene depicted Restoration forces dissolving into petty squabbles, while the Usurper’s supporters marshaled their resources and, in a cruel irony, bided their time. And meanwhile, most of the citizens of the Empire returned to their prime activity of watching funny cat stills and videos for hours on end.

What This Way Comes” – posted 7 November 2020

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Amoeba’s Lorica: To Move Fast and Break Glass

Trump suggests he’ll use the military on ‘the enemy from within’ the U.S. if he’s reelected – News item


TRUMP (formerly WASHINGTON), DC (API*): At a mass rally at the Trump (formerly Kennedy) Center for the Performing Arts, the President Ruler of the United States of America, Donald Trump, unveiled uniforms for the Domestic Security Forces, the military units created by “the great” people at the Department of the Military (the re-titled fusion of the former Departments of Defense, Homeland Security, and Justice) for deployment within the nation’s borders.

“Wear these uniforms with pride”, the President Ruler shouted at the end of a rambling speech about imminent threats to the nation and the new Department’s mission to find and destroy them. “Do your part! Send those filthy immigrants back where they belong! Shut down m… our nation’s enemies and make this country great again!” He shot out his right hand. “Make it great!” he bellowed. The crowd, in ecstasy at being permitted to share in their Leader’s driving energy, shouted back “Make it great!” Twice more the call and response rocked the Trump Center’s grounds

Both before and after the rally, Department of the Military officials were seen making close inspections of the three main Trump Center theaters and surrounding infrastructure. One of them spoke to us, on condition of anonymity. “We need places“, he reported, “for the Legislature to conduct its business should, God forbid, anything ever happen to the Capitol building. Liberals“, he scowled. “You never know about them.”


*  API: Amoeba Press International. Fake News. What Else Sell$? What Else Matter$?

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