Dude and Dude: Nothing to Rest Upun

“Hey dude, you look kinda downturned. You ‘kay?”

“‘S alright, dude. I’m just a little fatigued.”

“Not.”

“Not what?”

“Not fatigued, dude. You ain’t in the Army, and with that paunch they ain’t letting you in. And if you were in the Army, you’re either in uniform or you’re not. No such thing as a little fatigued.”

“Dude, you’re right. I’m getting real tired …”

“Goodyear, Bridgestone, or Cooper?”

“Hankook. As in, I’ll use my Han to stir the pot in which I’m Kooking your goose. Or I would if I weren’t so worn out.”

“Well, that’s what you get for wearing your heart on your sleeve. ‘What’d the dude die of?’ ‘Cardiac arrest.’ ‘What caused it?’ ‘His heart got sunburned.’ You should have more sense than that.”

“In this economy?!?”

“Perfume shop went under, did it? But you gotta stop stressin’ about stuff like that, dude, or you’ll be going out one fine day and leaving the front door wiiiide open for the family electronics to fly out of. You gotta get rest.”

“You got arrested, dude? What for?”

“What else, dude? Punditry.”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.