Reg and Syd: Staying The Course

“Reg, you’re positively beaming!”

“And why shouldn’t I, Syd? The news lately has been excellent.”

“Even in Washington?”

“Especially in Washington. Those legislators we paid for are staying the course nicely.”

“Yes. I’m hearing quite a bit about their proposed cuts to NOAA.”

“From whom? One of those people working at that dilapidated dive they call a university marine biology station? I’m astounded that either our legislators or you are wasting any time at all on this chicken feed. Get rid of the whole agency. Put paid to those global warming nuts once and for all, and let’s see some real progress.”

“They do say they’re trying to protect jobs.”

“And they can protect those jobs. Very easily. By getting their people to work for wages that are far more commensurate with their abilities, as tracked in a global economy. A Bangladeshi will do the same job as one of these puffed-up American eggheads for pennies on the Benjamin. Will quite possibly do it better. And won’t have the damned gall to scream at us about health insurance. Or try to tell us what we can or cannot do with our industrial and consumer byproducts.”

“We’re getting there for some of the sciences, at least.”

“Sciences. Bah. The only scientists who are worth the snot they blow out of their noses are the ones working on the toys like those i-things Steve Jobs produces. So the little people will spend their time twiddling their thumbs and cracking up over the accidental potty humor that their toys make for them, while we make sure that, by the time they wake up, they’ll be working the hours, and getting paid the pay, that make sense to us. And they will then be powerless to do anything about it.”

“Don’t you mean ‘make dollars‘ to us?”

“Don’t be unworthy, Syd.”

“Speaking of unworthy. What about those senators that are blocking our legislation?”

“They can cop the blame for shutting the whole government down when it runs out of money on Friday. They blew their chance to lead. If they don’t follow, they will be pushed out of the way. I wish Herbert Hoover were still alive.”

“How come?”

“To see the vindication of his policies. He came very close to creating the kind of world we’re striving for now, under similar conditions, back in the 1930s. But then this Roosevelt demagogue came with his Deals and his Happy Days and his filthy philandering hands in our pockets, and ruined everything. Well, this time, they tried the philandering first, and Mr. Owannabe and his Clinton clones got found out. It’s our turn now. Herbert would have been pleased.”

“And how many of the people who might stumble on a transcript of this conversation, my dear Reginald, would have any idea what you’re talking about?”

“Precisely, my dear Sydney. And, just perfect for our cause.”

“Excellent. Shall we repair to the bar for a few celebratory libations? Just one more question. Ever heard of TMZ General Corp.?”

“Can’t say that I have, though I can’t claim to keep the entire NYSE in my head. What’s the occasion?”

“Not sure. Came up in conversation, in a fairly striking context, but I came in too late to catch much of it. Had something to do with zinc bushings.”

“Hmmm. Seems an odd way to remember George and Dubya and the family. But if it makes money …”