Dude and Dude: Doin’ The Math With Attitude

“So whaddaya think, dude? Is it a coincidence?”

“Dunno, dude. What kinda ‘tude we talkin’ ’bout here?”

“Nose up?”

“Not too much, dude. She’ll stall.”

“Dude. Y’wanna mess ’round wi’ that kinda attitude, y’wanna get yerself some altitude first.”

“Y’mean like when they build their mansions high on the hill?”

“Yeah. Kinda. Ya jealous ‘r somethin’?”

“Me? I just wanna know if it makes a diff’ whether we’re talkin’ ’bout Mother Theresa’s attitude or 50 Cent’s.”

“Dunno. It don’t say. All it sez is that when ya add up all the letters like it sez there, ya get ‘attitude’ equals 100, better than ‘knowledge’ ‘r ‘hard work’. An’ all I wanna know is, is it a coincidence?”

“Well, dude, if it ain’t a coincidence, then it’ll work if’n ya count some other way. Let’s try scorin’ the letters like they do in Scrabble.”

” ‘K.”

“Lessee. K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E. 5 + 1 + 1 + 4 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 2 + 1. Eighteen.”

“Not a real high score.”

“Yeah, but the top letter score in Scrabble is 10, ‘less ya land on like a triple letter square. The other way, the top letter is 26. We’ll haveta put the Scrabble numbers on a bell curve or somethin’ when we’re done. H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K. 4 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 + 1 + 1 + 5. Nineteen.”

“Close.”

“Right. OK, dude, drum roll. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 1. Nine.”

“Does that equal 100 on yer bell curve?”

“Not even, dude. Coincidence city. So I wonder what’d happen if’n we stick some other words in here. Words more like us.”

“Ya mean, like, laziness?”

“Speak fer yerself, dude. But yeah, let’s try that. L-A-Z-I-N-E-S-S. 1 + 1 + 10 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1. Seventeen. Twenty if’n ya spell it wit’ a Y.”

“Wow. What d’ya get if ya count it like the “attitude = 100″ dudes?”

“Hmm. 12 + 1 + 26 + 9 + 14 + 5 + 19 + 19. 105! Dude, we have a winner!”

“Woot! Let’s party!”

“Meh.”

“Huh?”

“You gonna buy the beer an’ stuff, send out the invites, tell the neighbors, an’, above all, clean up ’round here?”

“Oh. Right. Meh.”