Dude and Dude: Baron Logic

“School supplies, dude?!?”

“‘Smatta, dude, yer Mickey Mouse lunch box not in tha catalogue?”

“Du-UUUUUDE!! I’m, like, so done wit’ school!”

“So maybe y’c’n stop comin’ up wit’ stuff that’s, like, so elementary, y’hear me?”

“Like what, dude? These catalogues? I didn’t lay ’em in here. Don’ know who did. ‘Course I can dig it if’n it’s you who’s going back for remedial 5th grade …”

“Fun-eee. Sorry ta blow off yer smoke rings, dude, but it ain’t me.”

“Well, who then?”

“Ya ain’t heard? Seriously?”

“Well, duh!”

“It’s OC’s Quilly. She’s got a gig teachin’, an’ she’s stockin’ her classroom.”

“On her own dime?!? That kinda bites, don’t it?”

“No it don’t.”

“Huh?”

“Trust me, dude, on a teach’s salary nothin’ she gets is gonna compute nohow. So how can it byte?”

“Dude?”

“Yeah?”

“They wants me ta teach, they can byte me. Gigabyte me. Terabyte, even.”

“Well, they ain’t gonna bite on you workin’ no classroom, dude. Anyways, this ‘stock’ thingy comes wit’ tha turf. That’s how come the catalogues.”

“Right. ‘Bout them catalogues.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, look at ’em. Discount this, an’ discount that, an’ discount somethin’ else. Discount ever’place ya look.”

“So?”

“Well, where tha hell is datcount?? Has discount got a monopoly goin’ or somethin’?”

“Wha … Dude! She’s tryin’ ta save coin!”

“Precisely, dude! How’s she gonna do it if’n she’s only got one count ta choose from? Where’s the competition?”

“She got ten ‘a ’em, dude.”

“Yeah? Where?”

“Lines ’em up one at a time. 1 … 2 … 3 …”

“Whatever. She’s gettin’ up first thing in tha mornin’ ta do this, right?”

“Fer why?”

“It’s tha noble thing ta do, dude. Surely y’ve heard a tha earl-y bird …?”

“An’ tha Duke a Earl was a boxer, right, dude?”

“He was? I didn’t know that!”

“‘Course not. Dude, I gotta tell ya, there’s somethin’ I c’n always count on ya bein’.”

“What’s that?”

“A royal pain, dude!”

“Is that some flash kinda window, dude?”

“Windows, dude. Windows.”

“Yeah, I suppose … Hey!!“