“Turkey, dude? Again?!?”
“Ya really oughta stop lookin’ in tha mirror, then, dude, if’n it upsets ya so much.”
“Ya right. At least I don’ break it when I look in it, like some dudes I know. No wonder ya got such bad luck wit’ chicks. An’ ever’thin’ else too.”
“Yeah, well I don’ ‘zactly see you celebratin’ tha holidays wit’ no chicks.”
“Ya ain’t been lookin’ close enough, dude. Got one fer ever’ day.”
“What? The 12 dates a Christmas?”
“Yeah! Mary first, of course. Then Jennifer, then Krystal, then …”
“Yeah, lemme see that phone!”
“Hey!!”
“Like I thought. Downloadin’ pics from tha Internet don’ count as a date, dude.”
“Like yer doin’ any better!”
“Well at least I ain’t bellyachin’ about it.”
“Noooo, dude. Don’t mention bellyache!”
“Christmas leftovers gettin’ ta you?”
“Right here, dude, ya know what I mean?”
“Dude. Well, if’n ya c’n tough it out one more day, ya c’n celebrate a holiday that’s right up yer alley.
“Yeah? What holiday? Not that I mind holidays, ya know …”
“National Bicarbonate of Soda Day.”
“No way!”
“Way. An’ ya know, after all the feastin’ an’ fruitcakin’ these last few days, this NBS Day is timed just about right.”
“Word. If I never see ‘nother piece a turkey …”
“I told ya, dude, stay away from mirrors!”
“Yeah. An’ fruitcakes! Dude!”