“WoooOOoot!!”
“Ai! Jebus, dude! Thanks! I didn’t need them ears anyhow!”
“But dude! Today’s End of the Middle Ages Day! An’ tamorrow’s, get this, My Bucket’s Got A Hole In It Day!!”
“Um … yeah?”
“Don’tcha dig what this means?”
“Like what? That it ain’t just yer bucket what’s got a hole in it?”
“Ha. Ha ha. Ha. C’mon, dude! Ya ‘member when we was in school, an’ it was borin’ as hell, an’ we was countin’ tha days until tha next holiday, an’ wishin’ we could just, like, declare one an’ go find some grass someplace?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, now ya can! Ever’ day’s a holiday fer some dude someplace! An tha schools ‘re all listin’ tha religious holidays what they know ’bout, an’ tellin’ their teachers that they gotta honor ’em. Ya know, respect, yeah? So all ya gotta do is check out all tha holidays what’s out there an’ work ’em inta yer belief system, an’ hey presto! Ya don’t never gotta go ta no classes, an’ the teachers can’t do nuthin’ about it!”
“An’ we can help tha dudes and chickas work this out?”
“Fer a small consideration …”
“Riiight. Don’t buy no plane tickets ta Acapulco just yet, dude. Fer one thing, yer probably fergettin’ tha big holiday that the teachers will notice is missin’ an’ insist on havin’.”
“Which one’s that?”
“Tha Work Day, dude! Fer ‘nother, what makes ya think college kids ‘re gonna sign up fer this? Wit’ all tha money that they’re shellin’ out fer tha privilege …”
“What’s tha diff’?? They’re all gonna come out tha other side flippin’ hamburgers same as us. They’re spendin’ tha money, with any luck it’s someone else’s money what they’re spendin’, they may as well partay!”
“Word.”
Just as long as you don’t mess up Summer vacation, dudes. You’re about to have to share Amoeba with me again, so move over!