philo- (prefix): word-forming element meaning “loving, fond of, tending to,” from Greek philo-, comb. form of philos “dear” (adj.), “friend” (n.), from philein “to love,” of unknown origin.
PHILOLOGY, n. Love of logs.
Reg and Syd
“A flannel shirt, Reg?”
“Going to visit one of my forestry companies today, Syd. Must look the part.”
“They’ve been a big buy for you lately, hm?”
“But of course. People take to mobbing oil refineries and coal mines like they’ve been mobbing Trump rallies lately … well, the people are going to be looking to burn something to get their energy. And fast. Wood may be a vile polluter, especially in the unregulated way it’s burnt in most places. But it’s popular.”
“Poplar?”
“Sydney! That’s unbecoming. Besides, it’s only one of the species of interest. And when the customers start wanting it, I wish to be sure they have to come through me.”
“And if Sanders gets into office and tries levying taxes on your efforts?”
“People are going to get awfully cold. Which is where they will be leaving Mr. Sanders. Mulled wine?”
“Don’t mind if I do …”
PHILOSOPHY, n. Love of Sophia.
The Dudes
“Wha’d ya say her name was again, dude?”
“Sophie, dude. Why?”
“So if ya make out wit’ her, would that make ya a wise guy?”
“As if you’d know anythin’ ’bout that, dude.”
“Which one? Makin’ ‘r wisin’?”
“Yeah!”
“Same as you, dude!”
PHILOPATHY, n. Love of hiking.
Starship Train
“Computer?”
“Yes, Captain?”
“‘Philopathy’ means ‘love of hiking’? Is it even a word?”
“Well, Captain, it is the folder name for your Executive Officer’s exercise regimens on the holodeck. And he’s invited several of the crew to join him on his excursions. The one through the Tetons is reputed to be, ah, especially strenuous.”
“Hm. I would have thought, from its parts, that the word meant ‘love of sickness’. But what do I …”
“That folder contains the HoloDoctor’s diagnostic procedures.”
“[…] Computer?”
“Sir?”
“Jim Beam, on the rocks. A double.”
“Aye aye, Captain.”
PHILOPASTRY, n. Baklava.
He and She
He: “Baklava?”
She: “Yes. It was on sale at the local market. Here. Have a piece. It’s yummy.”
He: “Don’t eat that!!”
She: “What? What is your problem?”
He: “It’s got files in it! Says so right here on the package. You tryin’ to break a tooth or something?”
She: “Right. Gimme. [reads] ‘Contains filo …'”
He: “Precisely. This stuff got an English name? Like ‘jailbreak cake?’ Have to be real serious files, they’re using steel with pretty high hardness ratings on prison bars these days.”
She: “Better finish reading those ingredients. You’ll find it’s perfect for you. Even without the files.”
He: “Yeah? How so?”
She: “Contains nuts!!“
My nutty beloved. [shakes head]