She: “You are not allowed to go on any more trips without moi!”
He: “Separation anxiety, much?”
She: “So you want the werewolves to take me?!?”
He: “Where are you getting wolves on the Big Island of Hawai‘i? Haven’t we got enough trouble with the volcano?”
She: “Well, love, you just beware of the ware that the werewolves are selling at the roadside stand. You might meet me in those meat pies!”
He: “I thought those were tamales.”
She: “So they’re Mexican werewolves.”
He: “Not if they’re putting pineapple in their tacos, they aren’t. What did I agree to this time while I wasn’t paying attention?”
She: “You were paying attention! Or at least you looked like you were. And then you just forgot!”
He: “In your dreams, maybe.”
She: “Exactly!”
He: “Oy. How many times have I told you that I’m not responsible for what happens in your dr…?”
She: “We took a picnic to a park. And the park manager let us in, but told us never to separate, never even to get beyond touching distance. Or we’d be targets! And you agreed!”
He: “I’ve got to start figuring out how to avoid agreeing to things in absentia.”
She: “How about by not being absent? So you said OK to this, and then you wandered off! Chasing after some seaweed or something. I figured you’d be back soon and spread out the picnic blanket all nice and pretty. I finished that and looked up, and I was surrounded!”
He: “Werewolves, I suppose?”
She: “Right there wolves! And bears, and orcs, and vampires, and …”
He: “Right. No more urban fantasy novels before bedtime for you!”
She: “I called out ‘Honey!!‘ And you said ‘Just a minute!’ But I don’t have a minute! The creatures are closing in! Any second now, and they’re going to grab me! I start heaving fruit at them from the picnic basket to keep them away. I’d just bonked a goblin off the head with the last peach when you finally show up!”
He: “And see nothing.”
She: “Of course not. You weren’t the one who had been abandoned. And you did see something.”
He: “I shudder to think.”
She: “You noticed that all our fruit was gone. ‘Hey, that was our lunch! You wished to throw things, we could have brought softballs or something.’ ”
He: “At least you didn’t throw in the towel.”
She: “Nope, I still know where my towel is. No thanks to you!”
If you aren’t responsible for what you do in my dreams then you’ve broken the promise you made when we first started dating. Remember the Chicken Cacciatore that you cooked which ended up on my favorite blouse? Since you cooked it, I reasoned that the spill was your fault. You agreed, and then you promised you would accept responsibility for all future upsets, too. Well, i have to tell you, that going off and leaving me to the not tender mercies of all of those monsters WAS an upset.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAn6w4i8Pi0
she says: “I am a werewolf!!!”
“My life is ruined!!!”
Tora