Amoeba’s Lorica: The Tooth Hurts

Dentist: “So, my good man. What seems to be the problem today? And before you get started, please know that there’s a reason why I don’t schedule any appointments at 2:30 in the afternoon.”

Patient (a bit taken aback): “Um, why is that?”

Dentist: “My receptionist and dental assistant won’t let me.”

Patient:Phew! I thought you were going to tell me that meant that toothaches weren’t allowed here!”

Dentist: “That would tend to put a dent in my dental business, now wouldn’t it? I presume from this that you have one?”

Patient: “Um, yeah.”

Dentist: “Let me see if I can figure out which one it is … maybe if I tap right here …

Patient: “Ai!!”

Dentist: “I see. So that’s the tooth.”

Patient: “[moans]”

Dentist: “The whole tooth?”

Patient: “I think it was. Or at least before you put that hole in it!”

Dentist: “Not my doing, no. The tooth was revealed some time ago, and it has caried the revelation to you, and thence to me.”

Patient:What revelation?”

Dentist: “My dear sir; your tooth is holey.”

Patient: “A holy nuisance! A holy pain!”

Dentist: “Well, I’ll put a stop to that, and then the tooth will set you free!

Patient: “Does that mean you’re not going to charge me?”

Dentist: “Of course not! I see to the tooth! As for the money, the receptionist will swipe your card on the way out.”

Patient: “I trust she’ll give it back! And it had better have something left in it! Speaking of pain!

Dentist: “She’ll try, I guess. But I do have this trip to Aspen coming up …”

Patient: “OK, let’s get this over with. But nothing but the tooth, got it?”

Dentist: “I suppose. First time for everything.”

Patient: “Oh wow. Happy happy joy joy.”



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2 Responses to Amoeba’s Lorica: The Tooth Hurts

  1. Nathalie Hoke says:

    Ouch! Sorry to read this.

    BUT, it is funny.

    • Amoeba says:

      Fortunately, Nathalie, in this case, for The Amoeba anyway, the tooth is imaginary. (Stopping there …)

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