Dude and Dude: Pidginholed

“Dude?”

“Yeah?”

“Wtf are ya doin’?”

“What ya told me ta do, dude! What’s it look like I’m doin’?”

“Makin’ out like yer an idiot?”

“At least I’m makin’ out like somehow. Unlike certain dudes a my acquaintance. An’ who’s tha idiot, ennyways? Ya got enny idee how heavy this thingy is that ya told me ta hang up here?”

“Dude …”

“I jus’ hope that tha rope I wuz able ta find on no notice an’ wit’ no bread is strong ’nuff ta hold this thing …”

“Dude …!”

“An’ tha knot I figgered out how ta tie tha thingy up wit’ will hold so that it don’ come crashin’ down an’ clock ya one!”

“Du-UUUUUUDE!!”

“Wha-AAAAAAAT?”

“I did’n tell ya tie weight, dude! I told ya try wait! Don’ ya evah listen ta me no more? Mebbe I should be fittin’ ya fer cement shoes, yeah?”

“Nevah stay on, dude.”

“Ya reckon?”

“We stay Hawai‘i, yeah? When’s tha last time ya wore shoes wit’ laces? Ya ‘member how ta tie ’em? I don’t!”

“Yer virtually crazy, dude.”

“Same as you, dude.”