He: “Um … sweetheart?”
She: “Yes, love?”
He: “Did you bring the dog?”
She: “The … dog?”
He: “You know, the dog. Say ‘yes’.”
She: “What dog?”
He: “The cat then.”
She: “I’ve been asking for a cat or a dog for years! And you have been the one that’s pointed to the terms of our lease. Every time!”
He: “Pipe down or they’ll hear you. A fishbowl then.”
She: “Huh?”
He: “A cockroach in your pocket!“
She: “Ewwww!!“
He: “We gotta have something we can call a pet, or they’ll make us leave!”
She: “Who’s they?“
He: “The people who run this place! We’re not allowed to be here without pets! Says so on the sign, right there! And our band’s supposed to be playing! How am I going to explain to the group how I managed to get thrown off the property?“
She: “O .. my ..”
He: “See?”
She: “You don’t know the half of it. We can fix your problem by plopping down on a bench and, ah, cuddling up. But you have never smoked in your life. I took my last puff thirty years ago, and I’m not about to start smoking again on some shopping center’s say-so. You’d think that, after a full year of the COVID pandemic, these people would want our business!”
He: “We’re giving them the business. You don’t think they’ll be happy about that?”
She: “No.”