Dude and Dude: Emo Not Emo

“Yo, dude.”

“What is it, dude? It’s a’most sack time.”

“Don’t even think it, dude.”

“… whut?”

“Ya ain’t my boss, an’ ya ain’t gonna be sackin’ me, no matta how much ya think ya might like ta.”

“Riiiight. Hate ta clue ya, dude, but ya gotta be hired someplace afore nobody c’n sack ya.”

“Here, dude. Let me intraduce ya ta tha reverse shaka.”

“Whoah. Emotional or what? Ya gettin’ ’nuff sleep?“

“That’s what I’m tryin’ ta talk ta ya about!”

“Sleep?”

“Bein’ emotional. Ya got all these emojis all ova tha place, ya can’t write nuthin’ without ’em. An’ they’re all, like, ova tha top! Laughin’, cryin’, yellin’, screamin’, an’ a bunch a stuff that, if’n I mentioned it here, it’d prob’ly get me control-Xed by OC.”

“Ya mean, like that reverse shaka? An’, command-X.”

“How ’bout ‘wipe personal data’, dude? Ya dig that most dudes an’ chickas these days ain’t got a clue what this ‘control-X’ an’ ‘command-X’ schtick is about, yeah?”

“Yeah, but whut does OC know? That’s whut mattas ta you an’ me? Does he even got a phone?”

“Mebbe one a these, dude.”

“… ooooOOooo. Yer emo’s got ya livin’ dangerously, yeah?”

“But that’s my question, dude! Howcum all these emojis gotta be, like, so emo? They set bad examples, yeah? Ain’t there some that’re, like, chill? That don’t get ya all carried away ‘r nuthin’? What help a dude dig how ta deal?“

“… dude?”

“Yeah?”

“You idiot! Ya cain’t have emojis what ain’t got emotion! Them’s gotta be noemojis, yeah? Separate category. An’ don’t get yerself lost while yer lookin’ fer it. Long ways away an’ nobody goes there.”

“Kinda like how Snopes goes bankrupt while dudes pushin’ fake news make billions?”

“Dude, if’n ya a’ready know tha answers, why’re ya keepin’ me awake half tha night wit’ yer questions?“