Dude and Dude: Honestific

“Dude?”

“What’cha got, dude? An’ is there a cure fer it?”

“Ha. Ha ha. Ha. Here, dude, lemme thaw out yer COVID shot fer ya.”

“Riiiight, dude. An’ when they hauls ya afore tha judge, what’re ya gonna say, yeah?”

“That’s zactly whut I wanted ta talk wit’ ya about!”

“Destroyin’ essential medicines?!?”

“Whut ta call tha judge, dude!”

“Hoooookay …”

“Fer real, dude. Judges ‘re saposed ta be, like, tha most trustworthy dudes around, yeah?”

“Yeah mebbe. Seventy-three percent a them ennyways.”

“Dudes an’ chicks then. Sheesh. So why does they put up wit’ bein’ called ‘Your Honor’?”

“Um …”

“Why ‘re they settlin’? If they’s tha most trustworthy peeps we got, howcum we ain’t addressin’ them wit’ ‘Your Honest‘?”

“O .. my .. ”

“Amirite??”

“Some a them w’ld prob’ly be sweatin’, dude, thinkin’ that ya’d dug up some dirt on ’em an’ were tryin’ ta be cute ’bout it. An’ others w’ld accept tha compliment, but toss ya in jail fer contempt a court ennyways fer usin’ a possessive pronoun when ya shoulda been usin’ a contraction.”

“[…] whut?”

“That’s whut I figgered. Say goodnight, dude.”

“Goodnight, dude.”