“Dude?”
“Whut?”
“Whut’re ya doin’ up this early? Itʻs barely light, an’ I can still hear more birds than cars.”
“Iʻm hungry, dude. Tryin’ ta cook breakfast.”
“ʻKay, dude, but don’tcha wanna be, like, awake afore ya start messin’ wit’ kitchen stuff?”
“Tha’s important?”
“Yeah, kinda … um, dude, where’s tha microwave?”
“In tha oven.”
“In tha … whut?!?”
“Dam near froze my fingers off doin’ it too.”
“Why?”
“ʻCause I kept it in tha freezer ov’rnight, dude, like tha instructions on tha box told me to. A’most couldn’t fit it in there. ‘Specially wit’ the cord. Tha oven wuz a little bigger, but it wuz still a tight fit. Woulda been even wit’out frozen fingers.”
“Tha instructions told ya ta cook tha microwave fer breakfast.”
“Yeah! An’ ya gotta keep it frozen afore ya cook it!”
“Didya light tha oven yet?”
“Nah. A certain dude a my acquaintance started aksin’ me questions afore I c’ld figger out howta do it.”
“Good. It’ll keep yer breakfast an’ yer pad from tastin’ a little burnt. Dude?”
“Yeah?”
“Wake up an’ go back ta sleep, yeah?”
“But I’m hungry, dude!”
“Ifʻn yer too hungry ta sleep, which I doubt, Iʻll haul ya ta tha coffee shop in, like, an hour. Itʻll be, like, tastier, not ta mention safer an’ neater. Ya’ll thank me fer it.”
“If’n ya say so, du …. zzzzzzzzz.”
Enjoyable