“Dammit, dude!”
“Yeah? Good luck wit’ that.”
“Huh?”
“You goin’ inta tha war zone ta fix that dam the Russians busted in Ukraine? I ain’t!”
“Yeah, you an’ ever’ otha card-carryin’ memba a tha Axis a Evil. Which means us, dude! Us suckin’ up ta tha Russkies so’s we c’n suck up on their oil an’ gas, ta tha happy dances a their billionaires an’ ours. Dammit! “
“Ya gonna tell me how ya feel sometime today, ‘r ya gonna keep keepin’ me in suspense?”
“Yeah, wait fer it, dude. Ya know that big mural in tha center a town?”
“Ya cain’t hardly miss it, dude. An’ if’n ya ask me …”
“I ain’t askin’ ya, dude …”
“Ya just did. Dude.”
“There’s askin’, dude, an’ then there’s askin’. Since ya said ‘ya cain’t miss it’, I’m hopin’ ya wasn’t tha one what hit it.”
“Got tagged again, did it?”
“Yeah. Big time. See?”
“OK, I see. What’s tha diff?”
“Whut?!?”
“Whut’s tha diff?? It’s graffiti on top a graffiti. An’ if’n ya asks me …”
“I told ya …”
“… some a that new stuff’s betta than tha original. “
“Dude …”
“An’ tha town got it fer, like, free!”
“Du-UUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!”
“WhaAAAAaaAAAat?”
“It’s mural injury, dude! Don’tcha, like, feel this?”
“[…] Dude?”
“Whut?”
“Facepalm, dude. Sounds like a dude a my acquaintance needs ta lighten up. Here, try this new game I just found!”
“Tha one wit’ all tha superheroes innit? So’s we c’n all pretend that tha laws a physics, that we don’t get anyways, don’t, like, apply ta us? I got it. Go ahead, open yer in-game chatbox, type in ‘USA sux’, an’ send it ta me.”
“OK. Ya got it?”
“A course. Now, type in ‘China sux.’”
“OK … wait, whut?”
“Uh huh. Now try ‘Free Tibet’, an’ ’Tiananmen’.”
“Dammit!!!!!”
“How’s yer big brotha, dude?”
“Dude.”
“An’ how did he get there, mirror lover?”
“[…] Dude?”
“Yeah?”
“Shaddap.”