The Dudes go grocery shopping …
“Kay, dude, I got ’em. But that wuz hard.”
“Whut? Gettin’ tha kidney beans that OC’s Quilly wanted fer dinner? Whut’s hard ’bout it? There’s, like, a whole wall of ’em, dude!”
“Yeah, dude, there’s a few cans a them dark red kidney beans up there. But, like …
“Whut like?”
“But, like, where are the rest a ’em?”
“Where’r tha rest a whut?!? Ya tryin’ ta get me ta be un-C-n’ these B-ns? Ya tried ta pull this on me once befoah, ya know, an’ it’s like yer L-eanin’ into it pretty heavy this time. So’s ya c’n be M-ean ta me? I hope ya ain’t tryin’ ta get me ta sing P-aeans ta yer wisdom, dude, ’cause it ain’t happenin’.”
“No singin’, dude! Ya wanna get us ‘rrested fer terrorism?? I told ya a’ready, I see tha kidney beans. Where are tha rest a ’em?”
“Smh, dude. Ya got pink kidney beans ta go wit’ tha red ones. Ya got white beans, Navy beans, pinto beans, butter beans, molasses beans, chili beans, mesquite beans, original beans whutevah that means. An’ I ain’t even tried yet! Whut kinda beans ‘r ya lookin’ for?!?”
“Tha kind whut make some kinda sense, dude! I saw tha Navy beans same as you. Where are tha Army beans, dude? Or tha Marine beans, ‘r tha Air Force, ‘r tha Coast Guard? Huh?”
“Ya fergot tha Space Force, cadet.”
“OK, OK. Ya found tha kidney beans. Where are tha liver beans, ‘r tha spleen beans, ‘r tha stomach beans, ‘r tha lung beans …”
“Brain beans, dude. Numba 10 can, bottom shelf. Hand ’em here.”
“Fer why?”
“So’s I c’n brain you with ’em an’ mebbe knock sum smarts inta yer head. Sheesh. C’mon, let’s go, afore we get ‘rrested fer stupidity. Didya put tha can in tha shoppin’ bag?”
“Whut can?”
“Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!!“
